If your team watches how you act after a tough loss more closely than they do after a blowout win, are you prepared for what they’ll see?
That’s the real test—not your playbook, not your record, but your ability to lead through self-awareness and humility. In the high-stakes, ego-driven world of football, J.J. Clark, now with the Dallas Cowboys, has learned that greatness in coaching doesn’t come from having all the answers—it comes from knowing that you don’t.
“I don’t know what I don’t know,” Clark says without hesitation when describing his approach to stepping into new roles. “It starts with kind of that posture of humility… assuming, hey, I don’t know.” (20:44)
This mindset has fueled his steady rise through college football to the NFL. For Clark, leading with humility and self-awareness has become a competitive advantage—one that more coaches should intentionally develop.
Embracing the Unknown as a Strength
In football, confidence often gets mistaken for certainty. But the most successful coaches stay curious. They ask questions. They listen more than they speak—especially in unfamiliar environments.
Clark didn’t walk into the Cowboys’ facility trying to make a name for himself. He walked in ready to learn. “Being slow to speak and make sure that when you do speak that you’re measured and your words matter” he explained. (21:12)
Instead of trying to prove himself right away, he focused on learning the Cowboy way—taking the time to understand the people, the program, and what mattered most. That kind of approach speaks to maturity. It shows he values leadership the right way and knows that fitting into the culture is just as important as fitting the scheme.
Real Leadership Shows Up When It’s Hard
It’s easy to talk about values and team-first mindset when things are going well. But as Clark points out, it’s how you carry yourself in the hard moments that reveals your leadership. Staying grounded, consistent, and real—especially when pressure hits—is what earns trust.
After a heartbreaking loss to Southern Utah, the eyes of the entire UTEP defense were on him. “You could feel the kids like, okay… is all the stuff this guy said going out the window or is he going to be who he says he is?” (17:17)
Clark stayed true. He didn’t rant or unravel. He showed the same values on a Sunday after a loss that he had all offseason—and that’s how he earned credibility. In his words, “if you are consistent… you gain credibility.”
Growth Happens When You Turn the Mirror Around
Too often, coaches look outward when things go wrong—blaming execution, energy, or even effort. But Clark challenges coaches to first look inward.
When he left his coordinator role at UTEP to take a smaller role in the NFL, he made a decision few would have. “I’m really proud of myself for having the humility to step back… and be challenged and be stretched.” (28:30)
He didn’t see a “demotion.” He saw an opportunity to grow. That kind of reflection takes courage—and it’s exactly what rising coaches need to hear.
Coaching with Humility Is Coaching for the Long Game
Great coaches know football is about people first—players, staff, families. And to serve them well, you need the self-awareness to put ego aside and the humility to grow alongside them.
Clark sums it up best with a philosophy he lived by at UTEP: “It’s simple, it’s critical.” He adds, “Show up, work really, really hard, and be where your feet are at.” (34:57)
Simple? Yes. Easy? Never. But that’s the point. If more coaches committed to leading with humility and reflection, they’d not only become better leaders—they’d build better programs.
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Don’t Just Watch Film—Go Watch Coaches: A Sideline Education in the Game- Lane Kirkland