Live the Standard: The Coach’s Role in Player Mindset

Keith Grabowski (00:01)
Luke Falk went from walk-on to record-setting quarterback under Mike Leach, but the real story is how he learned to master his mind. Today we’re exploring how the same skills that helped him perform under pressure can transform how coaches lead, teach, and build their programs. Luke, it’s great to have you here today. I really appreciate you taking the time and was really happy that you reached out to me.

Luke Falk (00:26)
Yeah, appreciate you having me on, Keith. I’m excited about it.

Keith Grabowski (00:29)
So a lot of people know you for what you’ve accomplished on the field, but what really stands out to me is how you’ve taken those experiences, the highs, the pressure, the lessons in the mental discipline, and turned those into something that every athlete and coach and even parent can use. In your book, the Mind, Playbook isn’t just about performance, it’s about identity, resilience, and leadership. And I think coaches…

are going to connect deeply with the lessons that you’ve put together inside of this book. So first off, again, we want to welcome you to the show. think it’s great we finally are able to sit down and talk through how all of this has evolved. We’ve done it on the phone. It’s good to be able to see you face to face here, virtually at least. But it’s ⁓ going from your playing days through what you learned in coaching and life since you’ve really put together, I think, a tremendous resource for coaches and

Would love to first just share that story of how this all came about.

Luke Falk (01:27)
Yeah, well, thanks. I’ve loved listening to your podcast when I was coaching division two football at Wingate. I had a 30 minute commute and you know, the coaching coordinator podcast was always a go-to for me. So it’s fun being on it. Really it fun how this whole thing came about in 2012 before my senior year of high school. I got introduced to a sports psychologist and it changed my game completely. I was a kid before I started working on the mental part of my game who lacked a lot of confidence, who didn’t believe in myself, who

really struggled with game day stress, nerves, anxiety, and I didn’t feel like I performed my best. And then this sports psychologist of mine, name’s Dr. Craig Manning, he was excellent for me, and he showed me that I could train my mind just like I train my body. And he gave me the tools to be able to do that. And I had the discipline throughout my early years of college at least to be able to put that into work.

And I, the results were incredible. You know, I felt more self-secure. I felt more calm, cool, and collected where at high school, you know, I didn’t perform in the clutch. And then in college, I was known as cool hand Luke. know, we, during my time there with coach Leach, had a great, um, record of being able to pull through in the fourth quarter, you know, that was due to mind strength coaching and also obviously coach Leach and, the teammates I had around me. Um, so in 2015, I had this idea like, you know, I want to do, I want to help.

people maximize their full potential. I was a sophomore in college. I loved listening to a guy named Wayne Dyer. I’m like, I want to write, I want to speak, I want to do all that. And ⁓ to be able to help people, you know, discover what I’m discovering right now because it was life changing. And then, you know, when my career ended, that idea was still with me. And I was like, well, I want to teach an adjunct, I want to be like an adjunct professor at Washington State and teach a mind strength course. So I started creating a curriculum with my old teammate, Nick Begg.

in 2020 and that’s where the foundation of this program and really this mind strength movement started along with the teachings that I’d learned as a player. Then I used it in private coaching as a private quarterback coach for a couple years. Then I got into college coaching. I took that with me and you know, I just I did some seeds here and there and saw other athletes responded to it and go full all in on it. But when I asked the guys at Northern Iowa when I was those see there, I said, what do you guys want more of and what do want less of?

Kind of like an evaluation after spring and you know, the majority of them like we want more mind strength. So I knew that it was something that was needed. Then I resigned from that position, took some coaches or some clients on while I was back home in Utah. And it just got to a point where I wanted to go full time with it. It’s my passion. And last year I had the determination, I’m going to write a book. I’ve always wanted to write one and I had already had the curriculum. I’d already been coaching on it for a number of years and it was just a matter of putting pen to paper and

really the stars aligned for me. So I love the book. I think it’s an excellent resource. I appreciate you thumbing through it and your feedback on it, but I think it’s great for any athlete, any coach and any parent. And you know, it’s through RLE, it’s through my real life experience. It’s from being able to be mentored by an amazing coach and Mike Leach. It’s being able to be able to have all these great, you know, sports psychologists and thought leaders around me throughout my career. And most importantly, this book is in theory. It’s not something that, I read that and that sounds pretty good.

things I’ve actually done and things I’ve actually coached and I show you how. It’s a black and white roadmap of how to train your mind just like you train your body.

Keith Grabowski (04:55)
Yeah, I want to dig into different parts of the book and I’m excited to read it cover to cover. I’ve been kind of looking at it as a reference book. I’ve found so many good things in it ⁓ and I’m excited to go back through it. But one of the things you talk about as far as the foundation is from performance to identity. I think, boy, this is something certainly that affected me as a coach. I know

You know, personally, this last summer I was driving back, my son played a doubleheader in Niagara, was playing in the perfect game league out there this summer. And it was an incredibly hot day. was like hundred degrees that day. They’re playing on a turf field in the middle of the day, doubleheader, probably 110, 120 on the field. And by the end of it, he was definitely dehydrated, but he did not have the day he wanted. And, you know, I’m driving home back.

from Niagara there on the bus back to Elmira where they’re from for a few hours. And he kind of runs into this crisis and starts texting me about, man, I don’t know who I am outside of baseball. Like, I feel like everything’s tied to baseball. And I had to pull over and text him for a while and kind of get him back to neutral with all this. But he was feeling at that point, part of it was probably dehydration, but like,

I’ve tied everything to baseball, this is all that I am, I don’t know who I am. And that’s something I think that is true for coaches, I think it’s true for players, shoot people out outside of sports, get tied into ⁓ what they do, the stat lines, their accolades, whatever it might be, feeling that that’s your identity and truthfully.

You have to find a way to separate the two and I think that’s a good starting point. What you lay down is the foundation here. We’d love to hear you get into that a little bit and talk about its importance.

Luke Falk (06:57)
Yeah, well, I appreciate you sharing that story. think really most athletes, most coaches, most high achievers ⁓ wrap their identity in what they do, what they achieve, what people think of them, comparing themselves to others, how much money they have. And what you do is you put yourself on what I call the teeter totter trap. It’s like, okay, I get a good outcome. People like me, I’m better than somebody. Well, that teeter totter goes up. I’m feeling great. And then what happens when you don’t get the outcome? When somebody says something negatively,

negative to the negative to the wow negative about you ⁓ or you compare yourself and you’re behind somebody. Well that teeter totter drops and so you’re just living on this constant ⁓ anxiety ridden playground to a certain degree on things you can’t control. All those things are things you can’t control and I found myself early in my college career with that. Mike Leach said something positive me coach said something positive me man. I’m on top of the world. I’m feeling incredible. he said something negative me.

I’m in the dumps, it ruined my entire week. I allowed my identity be wrapped up in what he thought of me or what the media thought of me or my ranking. And the best year that I ever played is in 2015 when that wasn’t the case. We had lost to Portland State early on and I just had this like effort mentality. Coach Leach, he talked to me about playing with house money. So I’ve shared this before on my Twitter and I a number of coaches reached out, said it deeply resonated with them, but he’s like, Luke,

If I gave you a hundred dollars and told you to go gamble at our little casino, called Zepos and Pullman, a little closet size casino. I frequented it a bunch when I was younger. As a walk on, thought, man, I could, I could, I could earn my stipend here, but I learned out quickly house rules, you know, it’s against you. But anyways, he’s like, you’d play there free. You’d play like you’ve got nothing to lose. Cause it’s not your money versus if that was your, your a hundred dollar bill and you went there and it was your hard earned money.

you would play more timid, you’d play more like, hey, you don’t want to lose it. And that’s how I was playing at that time in my career. Early on, I was a walk on, didn’t, I just cut it loose. I didn’t care. I didn’t have anything to, you know, lose in that sense. And then when I got to the starting job, I started playing timid. And then after that loss, it like set me free, it got me back in this house money mindset. And I didn’t wrap my identity up in, hey, what people thought of me, because I had just experienced the worst.

And that season was the most freeing season I had and the best season I’ve had. was Pac-12 first team all-team player. Leach at the end of the year thought I should have been the Heisman. We won nine games, whereas prior, you know, we were averaging two to three wins a season. Yeah, it paid tremendous dividends for me. But this isn’t something that, I do it once and I’m good. You got to do it every single day. You got to make the conscious decision. Where’s my identity today? Because after, when I was done playing football and I got cut by the Jets,

I had a huge identity crisis. Who am I now? I’m not the quarterback. And if you’re, if you placed your identity in something and now you’re not doing that, well, who are you? You don’t know. So I went, I had a quarter life crisis. called it. And it’s just this big long journey of being able to help me get to a foundation where, you know, it’s not, I’m not tying my identity to what Chris Peterson calls society scoreboard. And I thought that was so great. I listened to him on a podcast talk about it.

And I called Jake Browning, who was his quarterback at UW. And I said, can you get me Coach Peterson’s number? I want to talk to him because I was getting into college coaching and I had heard him discuss this. And he talked about a game plan for your life, a game plan for your life. And so I called him. He was gracious enough to meet with me and he showed me, know, hey, most people, most coaches, most players, they tie their identity and stuff to that society scoreboard.

how many games you win, this, that, and the other, the accolades, and you can never win that scoreboard. But you need to do is you need to create a game plan for your life. And basically what it is is what’s your mission? What are your values? What are your roles in your life? And make decisions from that standpoint and your worth from that standpoint rather than the external, the things you can’t control. So for me, I did what he did or I did what he asked. I made this game plan. And it was a big reason why I even got out of the college game because I wasn’t living

those values, I was chasing that society scoreboard and the coaching deal. And that was, was a turning point for me. I’m like, I got to actually apply this stuff. Otherwise it doesn’t matter. So that was a huge deal. And then I think something that can also help coaches, players, athletes with their identities, you got to, I think you place your identity in something greater than yourself within, you know, place your identity with God. And it’s like, no matter what outcome you have, good, bad,

That doesn’t change your worth, right? Your worth’s unchanging, unwavering, it’s God given. It doesn’t matter what the outcome of the scoreboard is. And if you can root yourself in that, that gives you the ultimate house money because you know that your worth isn’t tied to what you do and that allows you to go cut it loose, I think, better than anything.

Keith Grabowski (12:00)
You mentioned coach Leach and feedback he gave you and I really think feedback, think evaluation done right, feedback given the right way. ⁓ Thinking from a coach perspective, it really helps to, well, one way the other, it’s gonna have an influence on the development of the culture of your team. There are some people who are very bad at feedback and the method in which they give it. ⁓

And there’s some that are very good at it. And I think those who do it well are probably having an easier time with their culture. But regardless, a lot of the responsibility still goes on the person receiving that, whether that’s a player receiving feedback from his coach, a coach receiving feedback from another coach or, you know, your athletic director, whoever it might be. know, you basically have to find a way to take what could be criticism.

Sometimes a lot of it feels that way. The tone of it obviously has an impact on that, but turning that into fuel for growth. I know you have a ⁓ Coach Leach story about that as well.

Luke Falk (13:09)
Yeah, I do. think really when you look at mind strength, what is it? Well, it’s all about mastering your inner world. And that way you can handle anything that the external world throws at you. So then what’s the biggest thing to be able to help you do that to focus on the things you can control. So you and I are sitting here talking. I can’t control what you say, Keith, right? And if you’re a player, you can’t control what the coach says. You can’t control how he delivers a certain message to you, but you can control how you take it and what you do with it. So

You know, before I was telling you, I was living on this teeter-totter trap when Coach Leach said something nice to me, man, I soared. When he said something negative to me, I’m in the dumps. And I was watching a Tom Brady interview because I love Tom Brady and I’m a big believer in a skill called modeling. I learned it from Tony Robbins. Listen to some of his stuff and it’s about, you know, find somebody that you want to be like. want to model your life. You know, Tom Brady, he’s where I want to be.

So I want to find out as much about Tom Brady as I can and then model his behavior. Well, in this interview, I listened to him talk about this book called The Four Agreements and that he reads it every year. So what did do? I modeled that behavior. I read The Four Agreements and in that book, he talks about something called take nothing personally. And what he says is, you know, think about this. If you have person A and person B, so person A, they get a good night’s sleep. They wake up the next day, they take their dog on a walk. They come back. Breakfast is made for them.

They eat it, they go to school, they sit down in first period and they take their test. No problem. They studied for it. They feel great versus person B. They procrastinated. They stayed up all night. They go to bed and they fall asleep on their neck. Weird. They wake up late. Their necks aching. They go take their dog on a walk and their dog does what mine does. And it’s sniffing around forever. And then finally it goes to the neighbor’s yard. And you know, it’s got that, you you, you see some of those houses in the neighborhood. Hey, please kindly keep your pets off the yard. It’s like, well, the dog goes on that yard.

And then lo and behold, the person comes out because they’re surveying their yard and they start yelling at them. And then, you know, the very last thing that icing on the cake is they don’t have a dog bag with them. So now they’re rushed off to school. No, no breakfast. They’re panicked. They’re sweating. They get into first period. The test comes out and they realize they studied the wrong material. So if I asked you who’s more likely to say nice things to you? Well, person A, who’s more likely to be kind, compassionate, understanding? Well, person A.

Well, we know in this extreme case that it’s not about us and what we say to them and what we do to them, right? I didn’t ask you what you said or did to them, but we know inherently it’s not about us, it’s about them. Well, we think that’s an extreme case, but that’s the reality of life. And with this book, Don Miguel-Ruez talks about what people say and do to you really isn’t about you, it’s about them and what they’re going through in their internal story. Well, I got thinking, I’m like, well, shoot, this is probably the same thing with coaches.

They probably have a good day, they probably have a bad day, and that really impacts maybe their delivery, not the coaching point itself, but maybe the delivery. So I was walking one day and I just had this, it popped in my head. What, not how? What, not how? What’s the coaching point I can take from it, not how is it being delivered? And so I started to strengthen this. And guess what? It got me off that teeter totter trap. It got me from the emotional high of somebody saying something nice to me, or the emotional low if they said something I didn’t like.

And so an example, we played Cal. I threw five freaking interceptions. It was so bad, I threw an interception on a shovel pass. I mean, was doomsday, it Friday the 13th. Everything went bad. And the next day in leech fashion, he shows up an hour late, hour and half probably. And he looks right at me in the front row and he starts going in on me. He’s like, Falk, you gotta be the slowest mother effer I’ve ever seen. I’m so tired of you watching you.

I’m not going to say exactly what I said, but he’s like, stand back there like an Ashton statue, taking sack after sack. I mean, that went on for 10 minutes. Just drilling me. Early on in my career, I’d have been done. I’d have been done for the season. No chance I recover from that because I would have taken it so personally. OK, at this point in my career, yeah, did it sting to hear? Absolutely. I’m a human. But at the same time, what can I take from it? OK, what’s the coaching point? Get rid of the ball. No negative sacks. Find the check down.

get into something else, and then rather than taking the sting of the how it was delivered to me. And that happened throughout my career, right? Coach Leach, phenomenal coach. He didn’t mince words with the quarterbacks, you know, and rarely did you get a compliment. So it’s like you had to learn this skill. Otherwise you couldn’t play for him.

Keith Grabowski (17:41)
Yeah, I think it’s interesting too. ⁓ I know, I see a lot on social media, coaches kind of thumping their chest about hard coaching or whatever and look at this guy on the sideline tearing this guy up. I think the other thing too, like you came to understand coach Leach and what the message was behind it and didn’t necessarily take it personally. But I think a lot, especially if we’re coaching younger guys is that ⁓ there better be a relationship.

there first before those things happen because then ⁓ that reduces the sting because you know that that person cares, right? You know they care about you. And so now you’re filtering that out. And I think too many times I think it’s a young coach mistake saying, well, they need to be tougher. I’m going to coach them tougher. ⁓ You can, but they need they need to feel that relationship first.

Luke Falk (18:20)
Totally.

I think in the young coach perspective when they really are kind of a hard ass to a certain degree, I just plainly think it’s added insecurity, right? They don’t feel as secure in their ability to coach. And it’s like, that’s a way for them to make up on it. I think one of the greatest things Leach told me and showed me, well, what is leadership? know, leadership, my dad used to heart me all the time about, I gotta be vocal, I gotta be vocal, I gotta be vocal, I gotta be vocal, on my butt all the time.

And when I got to Washington State, Coach Leach showed me that leadership is really about elevating the group. Elevating the group, it doesn’t matter if you’re vocal or you lead by example or whatever. So as a coach, have that perspective in your mind. It’s about elevating the guys that you’re leading. What’s the best way of being able to do that? Well, to me, it’s about creating deposits in that individual. Like you said, the trust. Each interaction you have creates a deposit. You’re gonna have to coach, you’re gonna have to correct them. So a mechanism that I really like,

that I’ve used as a player and that I use as a coach that I think is very effective is the Oreo method. And what does that mean? Okay, well, the very first thing that you do if somebody needs correcting is the first side of the cookie. Hey, what can you say that you appreciate about them that they’re doing a really good job of? Maybe he’s working hard in the off season. Maybe he’s building his body to a certain degree. What is that thing? Then you go to the filling. That’s the coaching part. So what do you do? Hey, genuine appreciation. Hey, Jack, you’re doing a great job of blank.

Hey Omar, you’re doing a great job, but blank. That puts the defenses down now. And you do this in privately, right? I call it coach, private, praise, public, right? Do this privately so they don’t have their peers around them and they put the walls up. Then the filling part is, okay, what’s the coaching point and how can you actually do this? Cause I think oftentimes coaches just say, this is what I want you to do. And they don’t show you the how. It’s like, okay.

I want to give you a black and white roadmap of doing exactly what I’m saying. If you run this route the way it’s supposed to be ran blank, you know, this is what I need you to do. Then the last part of the cookie is if you do what I’m asking you to do, if you run that route, the way it’s going to be, you show them what is, you you incentivize them, Hey, you’re going to be a all conference player. And if you’re an all conference player, we’re going to win a lot of ballgames. We’re going be able to win the conference as well. So it’s like, give genuine appreciation, put the guard down.

Give the coaching point, most importantly, give them how to give the coaching point. Then the last part of the cookie is, hey, you give them the vision. You do this, your game can be here. Our game can be here. And then from the praise and public part, when they do that and you see it, call that, call it out and you’re to get more of it.

Keith Grabowski (21:13)
Luke looking at getting into the game day type of things and know players, coaches. I know early on in my career certainly had to manage stress and nerves and all the things that come with in-game chaos and being able to keep your composure certainly is a learned skill. But obviously a big part of your book, something you address and I know you like to look at as pressure.

as a privilege, that there’s a way to take what’s nervous energy and turn it into something that’s positive. We’d love to hear the approach you take to that.

Luke Falk (21:51)
Yeah, well, early on in my career, before I started working with a mental performance coach, I viewed nerves as a negative. I would actually throw up before games to deal with them. And then I would, you know, it’d be like 50-50 whether I was going to play my best. And when I started working with this, you know, sports performance coach, a line that came to mind was, if you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. That was by Wayne Dyer. If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. So if I shifted my perspective of how I viewed nerves,

rather than crap, I’m not prepared, crap, they’re gonna overcome me, they’re gonna handcuff me. And if I instead looked at them of I’m about to do something I love, and then the second part is these things can actually take my game to a new level. So in martial arts, think of it, there’s a known technique that if I throw a punch at you, you could redirect my energy and actually use it for your offense, right? You could throw me off, you could knock me off balance. Same thing with nerves, nerves will throw a punch.

Most people let it hit them in the chin. Why don’t you re harness that energy and allow it to be a superpower for you? Right? Think in practice, I could throw it 50 yards max. I didn’t have a very strong arm, but in the game I could throw it 60 if I utilize my nerves properly because I got the adrenaline working for me, AKA superpower. So I think if athletes can retrain their mind first with them and then also provide themselves with a workout regimen and skills, mind strength wise, they can really

learn how to manage and harness and utilize those game stress nerves. And one of the biggest factors of being able to do that is their breath, right? So Keith, when you’re nervous, what happens to your breath usually?

Keith Grabowski (23:22)
You’re going to be a little bit shorter, not as deep with your breath.

Luke Falk (23:26)
Exactly, short, shallow chest breathing versus when you’re relaxed and you’re asleep. It’s nice, deep and slow, it’s in your belly. So if you can learn how to control your breath, you can really get yourself in the physiological state that you wanna be in, in a more relaxed state. And I hear coaches say this sometimes, well, once again, how do we do this? Okay, a technique I utilize is called the four six breathing method. You breathe in through your nose for four seconds and you breathe out through your nose for six seconds.

It’s important to breathe in and out through your nose because you can control it better versus if you breathe in and out through your mouth, you might take in too much air, you might take out too much air, and now you’re not controlling it. And if you wanna take this to a new level, and what I recommend coaches and athletes, it’s like at fall camp, Coach Leach had us pile into the ice tub after, in the cold tub. Right, there’s great physical benefits of that. Well, there’s also a mind strength benefit if you learn how to train it.

When you jump in cold water, what happens to your breath, Keith?

Keith Grabowski (24:23)
You’re very shallow. You almost lose it. Yeah.

Luke Falk (24:25)
gets taken away. It’s like,

well, that’s the same thing nerves do to you. So it’s the same physiological response when you get in the cold versus when you get in competition, the heat of competition. So if you can train your breath work while you’re doing cold work, your four, six breathing while you’re in the cold tub, guess what? You can train yourself for that stress response. And I always like to tell my athletes and coaches and people I work with, if you can master the cold in your training, you can handle the heat of the competition.

And I’ve seen it time and time again. I felt it as a player. was religious doing 10 minutes in the cold tub, working on my breath work as an athlete. And now I’m utilizing it with my clients. Same thing. One of my clients, state championship, they’re down, calm, cool and collected, delivered in a clutch multiple times. He attributes to, hey, you know what? I trained for that moment, given all that cold breath work stuff we did, along with the other mind strength principles.

Keith Grabowski (25:18)
Another big thing in relation to stuff that’s happening on game day, the idea of play the next play, that emotional steadiness, because adversity will hit in any game and anything you’re doing. It’s how are you going to respond to it? How are you going to recover from a mistake? I think those things are so important. And I know, again, a big part of what you address in the Mind Strength Playbook.

Luke Falk (25:47)
Yeah, well, know, Leach was phenomenal at hammering that in my head. And as a player and as a coach now, I teach, one, I got to show people why it’s important. So let me just take you through a little bit of coaching here. So when you think about the past, you can’t control that, right? And the things you can’t control, what I learned from my sports psychologist, when you focus on those, your anxiety increases. And if your anxiety increases, what happens to your performance? Well, it decreases. And if you focus on things you can’t,

⁓ control, your anxiety decreases, performance increases. So, you know, think about the past. You can’t control it. And if you live too far in the past in a negative way, well, the emotion that comes behind it is guilt. And guess what? Anxiety increases. How about the future? Well, you can’t control that either. And if you live there too long in a negative light, then it’s going to be fear and worry that are the common emotion versus the present. You can control it. You can do something right now about it.

which creates peace, which creates you being in the zone, which creates you being in the flow state. So about playing the next play is really about getting yourself back in the present moment. Because what happens to a lot of athletes is this, a negative play happens or a negative game, and they go to the pass, they have regret, they wish that they did something different or made a different play, different decision, made a different throw, whatever it is, and they have that guilt. And then what pops into their mind as well is they get worried about how they look.

They’re worried about what coach thinks of them. They’re worried about what the stands are thinking of them, recruiting, this, that, and the other, whatever it is. Then they bypass the present and they jump right to the future because guess what? They’re fearful and they’re worried it’s going to happen again. And they’re worried about what people are going to think of them. So then what happens to the present play is it gets squandered. And in my experience as an athlete, there’s two things that happen. They either play timid, check down Charlie comes out. They don’t even read past the field. They just throw it right down to the running back.

or the hero comes out and they try to make up for that play, right? By fitting it into a triple coverage. I’ve been there before. threw, there was, we played U-Dub, I threw three interceptions on back to back to back series because of that very thing, trying to make up for it. So what the play the next play, what really that means is how do we break the negative play cycle? How do we get you back in the present moment? And so when I hear coaches say play the next play, I was once again, I was an athlete. I want to know how, how do I do that? Give me the tools.

So I’ve come up with this formula of, you know, it’s a four step process. Hey, we gotta learn from the past, right? Learn from it. History repeats itself, people say, unless you learn from it. That’s where, if you have a freshman and you have a senior with the same amount of talent level, who has the upper hand generally? The senior, right? Because, yeah, because they have more experience. Well, they’ve learned from the past. That’s really all it is. Then the second part, that’s what I’m gonna learn, okay? I a pick against UCLA.

Keith Grabowski (28:31)
in.

Luke Falk (28:41)
on the left side line, the safety made a play on it. Okay, well what’s the learning? I need to have better eye discipline. Great, there’s my learning. Second thing, you get yourself present. Well, how do you do that? You focus on something you can control right now in the present moment. That’s my breath work. Then it goes back to that four, six breathing again. Third thing, I’m gonna build myself up now, because what do most athletes do? you idiot, you dummy. Why’d you make that play? And they just beat themselves up constantly.

and the story they tell themselves really drives the response. So I want to create a positive story, a positive empowering frame for me to drive a powerful response. And then the fourth aspect of this Play the Next Play process is what skills can I focus on that I can control that aren’t the outcome? So I’m going to take the learning I had in step one. Okay, I need better eye discipline. Okay, now I want to play with house money. Okay, now I want to, you know.

be more decisive, whatever it is, right? Whatever those skills are, you focus on that rather than worrying about getting a completion or ⁓ scoring on the drive. And it takes you out of the things you can’t control and it places your focus on the present moment and things you can. And guess what? Anxiety decreases, performance increases. So long, long deal there, but I think very, very important for any coach, any athlete, really any parent to understand.

the power of the past, the power of the future, the power of the present, and that negative play cycle and how you can get yourself out of it.

Keith Grabowski (30:02)
Yeah, and from a coaching perspective, I think one of the important points you brought up is, again, the coach has to be the model of that. the team sees your body language, ⁓ they hear your tone, and that will affect the recovery speed of the team from whatever mistake they made.

Luke Falk (30:24)
Totally, I shared a story that I think a lot of people liked. mean, Coach Leach was as calm, cool and collected in clutch moments and play the next play scenarios as anybody I’ve ever been around. And that did rub off on us as players because I’ve had some coaches where they’re dwelling on past mistakes. They’re still talking about something we did in the first quarter in the fourth quarter. Leach wasn’t that way. It was about, all right, what’s the next play? What’s the present play? And guess what? That allowed us to…

play really good football, especially in crunch time situations where maybe I threw a pick before, maybe a fumble happened. Like we’re playing Oregon, we’re down 10 with four minutes and 30 seconds left. And I think we fumbled and guess what? He didn’t berate the player. He didn’t go on that for the entire mistake. He, moved on to the next plane. Guess what? ended up winning in double overtime that year because of his ability and our ability to play the next play, which really stem from him and his calm demeanor and his composure.

because you can feel when somebody’s anxious, you can feel when somebody’s calm. As a coach, you need to be the emotional anchor that you want your team to ⁓ really put into reality, you know, that you want them to do.

Keith Grabowski (31:39)
In looking at this idea of mind strength and you think of that for the individuals, you think about it for the collective of the team. A lot of this obviously is about the culture of that team and the alignment of that team. And you talk about a hidden variable in performance being alignment. Would love for you to expound on that and tell us exactly what you found in that regard in the importance of alignment.

Luke Falk (32:09)
Yeah, well, it goes back to who you surround yourself with, right? That core five I talk about, you always hear these quotes that you’re the average of the five people you surround yourself with. And you get to think about it in school, you get a test and you get your score back to measure where you’re at, what you need to improve on, what you need to study more. Well, we watch film, same thing. We need to evaluate our performance where we can improve what we’re doing a good job of. Why don’t we evaluate the people in our lives? Why don’t we evaluate the people that we spend the most time with?

Okay, when it comes from a coaching perspective, we got to do the same thing from a coach’s deal. Like, how do I feel around this player? Is he elevating the guys? This, that, and the other? Is he in alignment with my mission? So in 2015, when we had that incredible season, everybody was pulling the same way. We were all going towards the same direction. I heard one of our coaches, Antonio Huffman, who’s down at Texas Tech right now, I think he’s the football ops guy, is he talked about that the lug nuts on a wheel.

You know, and if the lug nuts fall off, guess what? The car can’t go anywhere. So everybody’s role is very important. GA, analyst, whatever it is. And you all need to be going to the same vision as the head coach, make sure you’re keeping people in check. Well, success happens with us. And I think, you know, some coaches lost their way during my last year. And, you know, you have a grievance and you might tell your position group, we should be doing it this way. And you undermine what’s going on. And there’s this undercurrent.

And what it does is splinters the team and you don’t have all energy, all everything move in the same direction. And as a result, we didn’t have our best year. And I was, I was, I was immature at that point. I probably listened to the wrong voices. And I think it splintered my relationship at times with coach Leach by listening maybe to the wrong voices who weren’t going the same direction that he was. And then guess what?

We got a new staff, we had a lot of turnover and stuff. People went to different jobs because we were successful during those years. People went to their respective places. We each got a new crop of people who bought into the division. Same thing with the players. I didn’t buy into the division that year as a senior. I was one of those splinter guys. Now Gardner Minshew comes in, he’s all in. They go win 11 games, the most in Washington State history. I believe alignment is the key behind that and him not taking as many sacks and being a much better quarterback than me.

You know, so that helps as well. But I got to experience it in college. You know, it’s like when I’m in college, you know, as as a coach, what I recommend is say what you want to say, make the suggestion you want to make. And if it is taken, then great, do everything in your power to apply it. But if it’s not, then put it on the shelf, put it in a notebook, put it on a hard drive. So when you do have your opportunity, you can do that. But in the meantime, your job is to support the head coach’s vision and the team’s vision. You need to get behind that.

And if you don’t, you are splintering the team. You are a energy vampire in that regard. And I can’t say that I might’ve been perfect at it even as a college coach. I look back on it with perspective now like, golly, I needed to be better in alignment with that type of stuff. And speak your opinion. think so often people are so afraid to say what they wanna say out of fear that somebody’s gonna take it the wrong way or they’re gonna get fired. It’s kind of this.

Cover your ass, CYA type of world and college football in particular because jobs are scarce, it’s very competitive and people are afraid to maybe go against the grain from an opinion standpoint but what they will do is they’ll take the lesser way out and they’ll just, they’ll bitch and they’ll moan and they’ll complain about it behind the scenes which is way more negative than just saying what you want to say and if it’s accepted, great. Implement it to the highest level. If it’s not,

then shut up, it in a piece of paper for when you do have that opportunity and then carry through the vision.

Keith Grabowski (35:56)
Yeah, can’t agree with you enough there that, you your job as an assistant is to protect that culture. And I think that’s exactly it. And I think a lot of guys do that. They don’t maybe feel that comfort level. And I think this goes to a head coach’s responsibility to make sure that the environment allows these things to come out in staff meetings or in closed door meetings, whatever it might be. So that coach can talk about those things. Essentially the guy who can…

He’s the only one that can address it, right? He’s the only one with control over it. And if you don’t, it’s gonna fester. It’s gonna come out even when you don’t want to, maybe in tone and body language and something like, cause you’re frustrated with it, but maybe you don’t feel that ⁓ ability to be able to bring those things out. You have to. It’s your responsibility. If you are gonna protect the culture, it’s not always easy. You have to find a way to do it. Maybe it’s not in front of the staff. Maybe it’s going and sitting down with a head coach or, you know, if you’re

coordinator, whatever it might be, and handling it that way. that action, that attitude and being able to talk about it will avoid some of those other things that unintentionally come out and ruin alignment.

Luke Falk (37:07)
Totally.

I think that mechanism we talked about as a player with coach, it’s the same thing. Use the Oreo method. Coach, I appreciate all this that you’re doing and be genuine about it. Guess what? The fences are down. He’s listening now. Here are some things that I think would help our culture or our efficiency or whatever it is and give him the solution, not just give him the problem. Too often we come with the problem and not the answers. Give him the answers. This is how to implement it.

And then talk about, coach, if we do this, this is where I think this thing can go. If it’s accepted, great. If it’s not, you spoke your piece. You don’t have this resentment in you anymore. I also think, you know, yeah, as the head coach, you set the tone. If you’re a dickhead and you don’t, and you provide an opportunity where you do rip people’s faces off, like I was part of one of those deals. Yeah, people won’t want to come and talk to you. And then as an assistant, do your research, do your background on who the head coach is and do you align with his values?

Or are you just making the step on the ladder to try to get to the place you want to get to? I tell you, it’s not worth it. You know, there are probably times like at Wingate, Joe Reich working for him. Oh my gosh. Incredible. Incredible. Love working with him. I mean, he’s everything in his alignment right there. And I think if you get a coach like that, it’s easier to carry out the mission and the culture moving forward versus somebody that you, you know,

They’re just, their way or the highway. They don’t want to listen to any feedback. It’s like, well, why am I here? Am I just a pawn? Am I just a pawn in what you want? Or do I have any opinion in what we’re doing?

Keith Grabowski (38:42)
Yeah, I think that goes to just how you’re developing your career and you’re approaching these different opportunities and remembering that the interview is a two-way street, that you need to be doing your research as well. You need to be asking questions to figure out, we aligned? So that you don’t end up in those situations.

Luke Falk (39:01)
And I’ve been there, Keith, like it’s you’re coaching at a smaller school and then boom, you get this big opportunity and they need a decision within hours. It’s like, I’m just telling you, slow down, take the time, figure out, ask people who’s worked for this guy. What’s he about? And I’m telling you the money, the status, the accolades, it ain’t worth it. It’s about the type of individual you go and work for. You know, that’s why I love like the Bronco Mendenhall’s I’m here in Logan, Utah. And I listen to Bronco.

People love working for Bronco, you know, and I wish there were more of that in college football or Davos Sweeney or Chris Peterson or, you know, people love working for Mike Leach. It’s like those types of coaches. I know there are many out there. I know there are, but it’s like doing your research. So you’re working with a good human being who then you’re more open to being, you know, he’s more open to being receptive. And then you’re also wanting to work for him because you love working for the guy rather than just like, well, I need this job.

and I’m waiting for the next thing, the next opportunity, which I think a lot of people fall into. It’s like, it’s a trap. It’s like, it’s such a, people don’t play with house money as coaches because there’s so much to lose in their mind. I can’t step on this toe. I can’t say what I want to say. I’m just going to go with the flow. Right. And that’s, that’s, that’s my opinion. A lot of CYA out there be different, right? Find your, and how do you do that? Well, I think go listen to the Chris Peterson podcast of

What’s your mission? What are your values? What are your roles? And let that be your decision maker. The times that I’m doing that in my life, which is, you you got to make the daily decision every day. I’m so much better. I sleep with peace at night. The times that I ⁓ compromised and just did and went and got the job without doing that, the decisions, maybe they were good at the beginning and they had some immediacy of ⁓ gratification. Well, at the end, they really crumbled.

Keith Grabowski (40:56)
another part of your playbook modeling and mentorship and the idea that coaches must live within their own coaching. But before we get into some of that, I want to step back to you as a player and for you being able to model Tom Brady as a guy with consistent habits. Would love to hear what that taught you about modeling and now how that carries forward into coaching.

Luke Falk (41:26)
Yeah, well, I appreciate it. I think it’s a great skill. It’s not mine, right? It’s Tony Robbins. I just, I stole it from him to implement it in my own life. And what I put on it too is who do you want to model that you respect holistically? Kind what we just talked about again, not just somebody who wins a bunch, who’s a champion only on the field, but is lost off of it. Who do you want to, your whole life to look like? And for me, it was like Tom Brady. I wanted to model him. So you, what you do is you find out as much information about

them as you can and you try to model their behaviors. What are they reading? What are they listening to? What are they doing on a daily basis? And guess what? I got pretty good at it and it was freakishly how well it worked out. I was the same draft pick as him, six round, 199. ⁓ My first career start was the same age that he had his first career start. It was in the third game of his second year that he got his first start. Same for me. And he played Peyton Manning in NFL legend and I played Tom Brady in my first career start in the NFL.

So it’s like the similarities are hilarious. You know, when it comes to modeling, I’m like, hey, this stuff works. Now, what I always joke with people is that he played for the Patriots and I played for the Jets and that was the real difference maker there. Okay. I didn’t have control of that. I’m just kidding. But what really happened is I quit modeling them. quit working on that stuff. I went to TB12 and I trained with Guerrero, which they’re phenomenal. I don’t know why more people don’t go and do that. mean,

Like Tom Brady’s like, I played Tom 45. Why don’t you model what he did? And if you do, I guarantee you’re probably gonna have a long career just like he did, or you’re gonna set yourself up for it. So I went there and I started it out, but I quit doing that type of deal. And guess what? I victimed my way to the NFL. I didn’t model him consistently when I got to that point. So I think it’s great for any coach who’s doing it in a way that you want to do it. Who’s doing it at a high level, who’s where you wanna be.

and how can you find out as much information about them as possible? That’s why I love your podcast. Oh, so and so’s on there. I want to go listen to his philosophy. How does he approach the game? Right? I think what’s great too is if you’re at a smaller school, find somebody that you really admire. Those guys like, I went and shadowed Shannon Dawson when I was at Wingate because he was a Wingate alum. Obviously he was in the array tree. And it’s like, that was phenomenal. I wanted to model my behavior and what he did and his offense, this, that and the other after him.

Same thing with Phil Longo. When Phil was up at Wisconsin, I tried to ⁓ get as much information about Phil as I possibly could because of the success that he had at North Carolina, Ole Miss, all that stuff. And so what are they doing that I can implement in my life, my routine, my habit, my coaching? Guess what? If you put your feet and your hands up the mountain where they did, good chance you’re gonna climb the summit too.

Just make sure you’re modeling the right character, the right individual, so when you get up there, you’re fulfilled, not going, my gosh, I sacrificed everything to win the trophy, but I’m ⁓ divorced, my kids hate me, ⁓ I’m fat, I’m unhealthy, which, like I said, be holistic with it. And then from a coach’s perspective, are you somebody that you would want your players to model? Do you?

model discipline. Are you disciplined? Are you resilient? Are you gritty? Are you working on your mind strength? Are you doing the things that you preach? Sometimes I get a kick not to stereotype or to go after somebody, but it’s like, you can’t discipline yourself with what’s on your food and you’re 250 pounds overweight, why should a kid listen to you about discipline on the field if you can’t discipline yourself?

Like I’ll even get a kick out of the mind strength coaches who talk about and preach about daily discipline, daily discipline, and they’re 150 pounds overweight, right? Maybe they’ve got some genetic thing or whatever, but I think for the most part, it comes down to, right, the discipline you do on a daily basis. Same thing with your, if you’re in financial peril. Well, that is about habits, whether you have good finances or not. It’s about, you discipline yourself to not spend more than you make, right?

So are you as a coach, somebody who you would want your players to model? And if they modeled you, what would your team look like? That’s a great, let me stop me in my tracks to look at it. And I can’t say that I’m perfect with that either, but it’s a pursuit. It’s a daily reminder to make that your North Star. Who do I wanna be? What’s my mission? What are my values? What are my roles? And how can I live in alignment with that?

Keith Grabowski (45:59)
I to wrap this all up ⁓ with anything when there’s a plan. There’s usually an adjustment in audible. And I know that that’s something you’ve put together about audible in life, audible in leadership, ⁓ audible in our careers, whatever it might be. You call it the easy, easy mindset. We’d love to hear how you’ve taken that again, a quarterback thing and turned it into something that we can use.

Luke Falk (46:26)
Yeah, it’s pretty fun. I appreciate you talking about it. So I think what made Coach Leach so effective as a coach and why all his quarterbacks were really successful is our ability to get in and out of plays whenever the heck we wanted and the autonomy of the offense. We got to audible. The defense gave us some a different look, different coverage, different blitz pressure. Well, guess what? We said, hey, easy, easy. And we changed the play. That’s going to be the same thing in life. Things that you had for your life, visions, plans.

All that stuff that, you know, guess what? Life shifted. The blitz came this way. They showed a different coverage. What are you going to do? Hey, tell yourself easy, easy, and then find a new plan. Find a new way rather than being hardheaded and just trying to do it because that’s the way it’s always been done. Right. So I think, I think that’s a great tool for any athlete coach parent. And one of them, you know, I don’t know when this is going to come out, but it’s student athlete mental health week. And I teamed up with the Linsky’s and my former teammate, Tyler Helensky.

You know, was on top of the world. He beat Boise State and a huge comeback win. And then four months later, ⁓ passed away due to suicide. And so you’re going to have moments in your life where life, life hits you, life hits you with the blitz you didn’t see. And to me, mind strength isn’t about perfection. I always tell people, mind strength is about learning how to change the tire before you need to know how to change the tire. So you can change it and then keep going. But sometimes life is going to pop all four tires. It’s going to implode your car.

What do do then? And I think the audible that you call for then is, hey, I need help. I need help. And then it shows great strength to do that. And then most importantly, it shows great strength to then follow through on it. I had that same thing in 2019. I was going through a really rough patch. ⁓ I just got put for the fourth time. My dad got diagnosed with cancer. My mom was battling some mental health stuff. I had just ended a five year relationship. We had just ended that and the engagement. My dog died. I had double hip surgery.

And here I am in my quarter life crisis, what the heck am I gonna do now? And my sister heard the shakiness in my voice, she said, you need help. And thank God I went and did it. But when I did, I had this like, ⁓ what is my coach gonna think about me? What’s my dad gonna think about me? What’s the say about my masculinity? What’s the say about my week? Do I just need to rub some dirt on it? Even though Tyler had just passed away 18 months or 20 months earlier. And so I want people to know, mind strength isn’t about perfect.

Perfection I’m not saying you need to be perfect what it is It’s about being able to handle what life throws at you and then being able to have the tools to respond or maybe one of those responses Hey easy easy. I need help and that is totally fine. That’s therapy is part of my mind strength workout regimen to this day and ⁓ Anyways, I just think you know, but I do think that mind strength can help get you past those things faster and quicker It’s like and I’m rambling here, but I listened to Tony Robbins and he said think of a river

and then think of a waterfall at end of the river. Most mental health stuff is on the waterfall. It’s on the downfall. It’s the rehab. It’s the rehabilitation. Hey, here are all the services. Well, what are we doing upstream? That to me is mind strength. That to me is providing prehab. It’s like Tom Brady with pliability. Why did Tom Brady play so long? He trained his muscles prehab wise with pliability to be able to take the hits necessary of when it was going to come. So he reduced his likelihood of needing rehab.

Same thing with mind strength. Why don’t we create a prehab with mind strength and then when stuff does happen, you will be able to respond to it better, even with therapy, right? It’s gonna help you like you reboot quicker. In my opinion, I’m not a licensed professional. I’m not any of that stuff. I’m just from my real life experience.

Keith Grabowski (50:08)
Yeah, Luke, this has been outstanding and I hope we can have some more of these conversations. I think any of these little topics we dug into, certainly we could go deeper on any of them. But I think what I appreciate the most is that you’ve taken all these mental skills that we associate with with playing, like handling pressure, processing feedback, resetting after mistakes. And you’ve shown us how to apply it to coaching leadership. And I think in the bigger picture.

⁓ And I think what you’ve done with the Mind Strength Playbook is put together a resource that’s for three groups. And you did an outstanding job in the book of making tips for players ⁓ who obviously all this comes down to what they do on the field. ⁓ Coaches and you have parent tips in there as well. I told you before we got going, if I was coaching right now, if I had a team, I would buy a set for the entire team. I really think it’s that.

powerful, but also very straightforward in how you wrote it. It’s simple to read, but I think has some very impactful things. So thank you for doing that. How do our listeners get the book?

Luke Falk (51:20)
So appreciate that. ⁓ Go to coachlukefalk.com and if you want to buy it for your team, there’s a bulk pricing option there. I’ve given that. If you go to the book and it says with the MindStrike playbook. So if you want to buy that for your team, there’s bulk pricing options that give you, think 20 % to even higher. That would be a great way. Or if you’re just looking to get a single copy for yourself, you can always go to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, any of that stuff. But one of my favorite things that Leech did for me as a player,

is in 2000, going into that 2015 season, he gave us a John Wooden book and man, as a quarterback group, he didn’t give it to the whole team, he gave it to the quarterback group and I devoured that thing. And I saw a lot of philosophies that Coach Leach was trying to implement within us in that book. And it was just such a cool resource for me to have something, you know. So I think this book, I envision it being like that. It’s like, it’s a great resource for your player, for your staff.

And then as a parent, you’re listening to this, so often parents are looking for, what do do for my kid? What do I for my kid? Well, this is a great playbook for you. So I think this can really improve any reader that listens to it or reads it. And I’m very proud of it. And if you like some fun leech stories, obviously I got some of those in there too.

Keith Grabowski (52:35)
Great stuff, Luke. And thanks again for sharing your journey, giving us a lot of practical ways that we can strengthen the mindset of ourselves and our team as well. And I really appreciate you, one, being a listener of the show. Thank you for that, but also for being a part of it.

Luke Falk (52:51)
Hey, thanks, Keith. Appreciate it.

Keith Grabowski (52:52)
it but if you want to go ahead.

Luke Falk (52:53)
Well, we’ll just do

this. We’ll just say, Hey, retake, check, check, check, easy, easy here. So when it comes to modeling, right? One of the greatest things. we go. Uh, easy, easy. Here we go. Um, right. We’re just chatting about with modeling and I use this as a coach. It’s like, you try to find the resources that you can, you know, look up, Hey, what are they doing? And I use your, podcast coach and coordinator podcast. And I remember the first one I listened to was a Trey lamb when he was at Gardner web.

Keith Grabowski (52:58)
the

Luke Falk (53:21)
And just hearing his story, his philosophy and his age was very inspiring to me being a young guy in the industry. I’m like, well, I can get there and I can get there in this amount of time. What is he doing that I can implement in my coaching? And then obviously now he’s at, where is he at? Tulsa. So he’s at Tulsa now, right? And obviously what he’s doing is continuing to work and they beat Oklahoma state and all that stuff. So it’s like, yeah, if I’m a young coach.

Keith Grabowski (53:38)
Yeah.

Luke Falk (53:46)
I’m listening to your podcast to be able to get the tidbits of how can I do what they’re saying or this guest who’s on here to model that in my coaching and my behavior and then try to find out as much about Trey Lamb as possible or whoever else you have on the podcast. So anyways, I think what you’re doing is a great resource in particular for these coaches to model these people and these individuals. And what I will say too, you know, when you listen to people, it’s like,

You’re allowing them in your core five. We have so much information now. So if you listen to somebody who is at the top of their game and you’re listening them every day and what they’re saying, guess what? They’re really influencing your life in a positive way.

Keith Grabowski (54:28)
Yeah, well, I appreciate you saying that. And I think, you know, that’s what’s fun about this is somebody will be listening to you today and that will have had the same impact. I think that’s what’s been so great about this podcast. And certainly it’s never been about me. It’s been about the people we could share and the ideas that ⁓ they’re able to bring to us that are gonna make a difference. So thanks for being a part of that.

Luke Falk (54:52)
Yeah, well, thank you. Great platform. Thanks, Keith.